Dec.3 Focused

Its all about money and the photoshoot for the rest of the week so NOOOOOOOOOOOBODY is breaking my focus. So Im going to finish up this homework stuff and this outfit and head off to work.It was boring before Kirsten came but thats normal. She made the day better we talked and had fun but I was annoyed from earlier. By the end of the day I was ready to finish everything. Im too focused. Talked to Tymmy for a while then did my hair for the photoshoot and finish this skirt. But Im tired so goodnight.

Dec.2 Almost done

I needed some time to myself so my mommy let me stay home today. She understands how stress can affect a person so she said that I can stay home if I need more time for everything. People dont really understand that this is crunch time so to speak and I have to hurry up. Its ;like my future is counting down its weird. But luckily Im alm ost done just make a few minor adjustments and I will be completely done this outfit ahhhhhhh. I need more time

Dec.1 Countdown

I definately forgot it was the first but I remembered at the same time its weird. I honestly love December but it makes me nervous because I have to be finished my clothes in 12 days. Its a countdown to my future its crazy but exciting at the same time. The countdown is really on but Im going to get through it because Im pretty awsome. Im on it for real and I focus just getting my anger and stress together and Ill be fine. We had a discussion in AVID which blew me so I stayed quite for the most part. Adults well people in general dont really understand certain things in general but Im just going to leave that alone.......

Nov.30 Pushed over

At certain times I know if it will be one of those days were people need to leave me alone; I didnt feel it today. I was just having moments and I felt me being pushed and I know how I can get sometime and its hard to hold back. I dont like what a lot of people do and how they act differently towards people mostly when adults do it like yall grown get it together or just leave me alone. People treat me different because Im not in your face about everything I do and Im not your picture perfect kid but Im pretty damn happy with myself Im beyond happy with me because at the end of the day the rest of you wont be noticed or stand out because of who you are but because your "perfect" to an average person. But any way I just learned that Im still learning to control my anger.

Nov.29 Akward Tuesdays

Since me and Charlie arent really on picture perfect terms Im  not sure if I want to be around him at all. On Tuesdays bible studyis the only thing on my mind best I get to release from the negative energy....well for the most part. I guess some people dont really understand that either about me but I love me so yeah thats all that matters in the end. So I go through school and practice as I would any other day but I feel myself getting on edge. But I ignore it; its probally just stress. Church was good when  the time  came I kind of didnt want to talk to Charlie so I really didnt as much as I would. He texted me and everything but its not the same I think he really messed up this time. I got that akward feeling around him now.......

Nov.28

Back to school I go. I really dont like this place everything and everybody is the same ugh and then I have to go to practice UGHHHHHHH. Today is not one of those happy go lucky days I just want to sleep so even if I try to stay up I cant. Im good for most of the day after first period and until practice but then I just want to go home. People are doing to much to try and stand out if it was made for you then you shouldnt have to try so hard. I guess people dont understand.......

Nov.27 Last day

Today was Drea last day home and Im sad. We are going to church but I never know what I should wear so Drea helped me but I ned up just putting on what I originally said. In church it was some tension with me and Charlie but I got over it. Me and Drea was having fun but the lady in front of me was making my tummy hurt from her perfume it was tooooooooooooooooooo strong or just had on too much. I took them out for lunch before she left and we had a good time bonding.

Nov.26 Another long day

So I know I have work and really want to finish this shirt and spend some time with Drea so thats what I did. So we all went to Joana Fabrics and had fun. My mommy was actually being nice. She helped us find stuff and pick stuff up but Im just too happy because I can start my skirt when I get home from work. Ima make my umbrella skirt finally =). And I got my Chaka Khan cd to helpm me get through everything so Im set for greatness. Work made my day seem so long I hate when that happens I just wanted to die.

Nov. 25 The morning after

In all honesty I was tired of Thanksgiving food yesterday bt I ate some for breskfast to start my day. I started to get dressed to start my day after me and Drea had siter time. I went out with my friend before I went to work. I did feel bad for leaving my baby home because I never get to see her but she understood. As I thought about these last two days I realized that it never matters what others say because my family will always have me no matter what. like I got them sick as usual but they really took care of me and I did the same in return. I really love them. =)

Nov.24 Thanksgiving

I felt way better then last night because I can breathe now. All morning me, Drea and my mother were cooking but I got everybody a little sick so we made the best of it. We listened to all the old classics. Me and Drea danced around in the kitchen as we listened to Chaka Khan and the Temtations. I could tell my mommy wanted her boys there with us but thats life. Everything isnt ment to be how we want it because themn they would have to bring their "bagage". It was a good day to spend with the famnily. My friends wanted me to come over but it wouldnt have been the same. Its always different when its just you and yours thats when you feel the genuine love.

Nov. 23 DEATH

So Im mad because I didnt have to present yesterday and I went to school so now I feel worse then before. Coach said we had practice today and we didnt so I had to wait outside in a jean jacket for my mother. Well atleast Tymmy waited with me. I was so cold and I  could feel myself starting to get way worse. The only good thing was that we had our food rag today and I made the best out of that. When I got home I was weak and tired but couldnt sleep. I had real bad chills and couldnt really breathe. I swear Im about to die because it should never hurt this much to breathe or sleep or atleast try to sleep. I heard Drea downstairs but I was to weak to move. I had to call her to tell myh mommy to get me some real medicine. Drea brought me up some tea. They gave me some drugs and I went to sleep. I really felt like DEATH.

Nov. 21 Off to School

So I woke up this morning and got ready for school. I really didnt want to but I knew I had to, to present in fourth period. When I got to school I didnt see Ian  so I was confused because she is hallarious. Since I been blonde for forever I guess people forgot who I was. I been changing my hair and hair color like this since middle school. People wierd. But it doesnt matter because I like it.. I had practice today too. Im really starting to hate cheerleading and its not because of the sport its the people everybody wants to be fake durning try-outs  or try to show off like ewwwww yall not getting far like that because you cant keep it up forever. but Im going home to try to finish this stuff if im not to tired.

Nov.21 Home sick

So I stayed home today thinking it would help me feel a litle better for tomorrow. The thing is I actually feel descent but to be on the safe side Im going to stay home. I think it would be better since I have a presentation to present tomorrow. I worked on my porfolio today when I wasnt sleepy or feeling weak. For the most part im done the shirt I just have to do some editing and make it a bit more "wearable". This is getting sort of stressful when I have to do everything for the moost part on my own but this is what I want so Im going to do it. =) Oh and I finally changed my hair color I was tired of being blonde. I was a faithful blonde but its time for something new. Im thinking carribean blue =)