Dec 10 Lost

It's my brother's birthday but now a days I never see him or talk to him for me to have the chance to tell him how I feel. It's his 25th birthday but I couldn't tell him how much I love him or anything. I truly feel like I lost him sometimes but we use to be super close. He was like my daddy since my daddy wasn't always there. I love someone that's lost in the world but I know God got my brother. I LOVE HIM but he stupid. I miss us as a whole.

Dec. 9

I'm finishing this for real then I'm resting. I haven't really had any real time to myself to sleep in weeks because of cheering, my portfolio and church/school. My music has been the only thing that keeps me going to strive for greatness. Every song right now is like a different design. I keep thinking that I have to do it for my god-son because he deserves the best. I know he is not mine but I no problem treating him like one of my own. He one of the main reasons I push myself so much. I love my Micah.

DEC.8 DONE

I'M FINALLY DONE THE MAIN ATTRACTION!!!!!!!! I completed the top I hope to GOD this fits Drea because if it doesn't we are going to suck and pull for dear life. Editing is about to be the worse part because I'm a perfectionist with my work but i am not an expert yet so I hope I don't stress it too much. I tend to show Drea all my work but she doesn't completely understand because we have two different views of fashion. I'm the edgy tomboy over exaggerated artist and she is the elegant vintage girl but I can  please all almost everyone.

Dec. 7 WORKING HARD

I know I need to rest but the stress is impacting me and I need to work. This portfolio feels like the best hustle ever. I feel like everything will pay off in blessings. I'm already receiving a blessing with a free photo-shoot so I know GOD is on my side and I'm taking the right path. I need to focus on one thing at a time. I keep jumping from garment to garment I need to stop stressing it all. CALM DOWN AMBER GOSH!!!!!!!!

DEC.6 Getting in the way

Cheer leading is starting to get in the way of what I need to do. I feel like everyone is being selfish when it comes to someone else getting what they need done completed. They are really making me want to quit but I cant help but complete what I started. I really am working hard for this photo shoot I pray to God that all goes well and I get into Pratt. If I don't its going to be like somebody stealing my joy. PRAY FOR ME!!!!!!!!!

Dec.5 ART

STRESSED! I feel like that's all I need to say for this blog because it is so much to do and I need everything to be perfect. I'm good for a beginner  but I want them to see I stand out and my visions can real give people a who new look on fashion. To e fashion isn't what you put on in the morning it's the feeling you darn not to speak. To me that's the greatest for of expression. People do not look at clothing how they look at a photograph, a sculpture or even how they analyze music. To me fashion is the most over looked art for and it's sad because it can change lives just like how music does.

Dec.4 Feeling Good

Wentr to church today and it got to me and it got me way more focused and ready then before. I went to the fabric store with mother after church and we werent completely clicking but thats normal. I ignored her as usual. Still didnt really talk to Charlie at church (shrugs). Went to get my nails done was feeling pretty patriotic today so got the flag on my nails something light. I feel like my environment is what pushes me to do better because I can tell Im not made to be around these people or people not like me so Im pushing to leave. I KNOW GOD PUSHING ME FURTHER THEN WHAT I KNOW.