Jan. 2

Everything is done for NYU and Duke so all I have to do is focus on is Pratt. Making sure that my portfolio is perfected is hard because stuff keeps acting crazy. I have three days to make sure everything is right. I completed my application and now its just my portfolio. I have to take my time and pray that everything falls into place.

Jan. 1 New Year

When I got home I was tired and emotional so I went to sleep. People dont understand how a smile can be so deceiving. I have to put on smiles for the rest of the year so no one actually knows what is going on on the inside. I guess this year has to be more about me and do better. I know a lot of people are going to be mad at me.

Dec.31 New Years Eve

I got up around ten or so again and got dressed to go into work at ten. I got in and helped a few customers before Kirsten came in. I thought she wasn't going to come in today I was about to be sooooooooooo mad. But the day went like any other Saturday a lot of laughs and talking. When I got home my family was getting on my nerves so I texted Shareefa to see what the plans for tonight where. I didnt go to church because I couldn't be around my mother for another moment. So I brought the New Year in with my babies.......

Dec.30

I slept in today till about ten then woke up to get ready for work. I went in at about 2 today since I did not have school. Work felt longer since their daughter was there. She is really annoying and to touchy. If you barely know a person then why do you feel like it is okay to invade their personal space like come on....but I am working on my temper for the most part so I tried to stay away from her today

Dec.29

I was so bored today. I MISS MY UNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But since nobody texted me Im just going to sleep and finish my supplements. I have been finishing my NYU and Duke stuff because they are due in the New Year. Nothing but me, my bed and the commonapp.......

Dec.28 Pratt Essay

How Art Became My Life

By Amber C. Mc Kenzie

            Art, to me is an individual’s distorted vision of their environment. Reared in an environment where art is all around it becomes a paramount part of everyday life. When your world is suffocated with darkness the arts may be your last way to elope.  Taking vision in the flight of birds to rainbows casted in concrete is all considered beauty. Throughout my educational occurrence I have encountered a copious amount of art experiences that enveloped my dreams.

Art has the power to change lives. Art is depicted from the beauty an individual chooses to grasp from its creation. Growing up with parents that did not have the possibility to exhibit themselves, my mother wanted her children to have the opportunity to express themselves as individuals. As a child I was placed into everything my siblings had prospect to. My brother and sister was accomplished artist that won awards and strived to express beauty into the world. Their passions inspired me. Knowing art was something inherited I involved myself in everything from visual to performing arts even cosmetology. Drawing hours throughout the day to expand my talent was rewarding. I chose after school art programs which developed my vision. I saw a love that had no base of discrimination. Art gave me ample time to discover myself. In my completed artwork I was able to always see my light shining back at me. I enjoyed it all yet something was missing.

As time progressed I realized that what I was yearning for; fashion. Fashion to me is an expression of self without even speaking a word. Fashion elements of color, design, style, and taste all could define a person without reading one chapter in a book. My sister use to explain to me you have one first impression on the world. Always questioning myself what will I choose to give them? Reading Andre’ Talley’s articles in Vogue Magazine I knew fashion was the step in the right direction. Despite the small town I live in where it has been frowned upon to be bold in fashion. I decided to choose my own destiny which always caught my attention. Randallstown is like a city of clones, where no one has a distinctive style. It seemed like everyone was on trend report. I rebelled against the thought of being like another. It was not who I was or who I am. I once read a quote from the great Coco Chanel, “in order to be irreplaceable one must always be different”.  I aspired to be remembered for what risks I took. I changed my hair to every shade of the rainbow, studied fashion guides as if were my daily word and took from my fashion influences. Never having much money I made fashion work for me, I bargained at thrift stores, sales racks and my family’s classics.  I took risk with color always keeping in mind my past art training. My ability to understand, focus, compile and execute my vision in art always paid off because I had a chance to shine. For instance, in the fifth grade I took the risk to make a garment. Cut up some of my mother’s fabric, which made her so mad to create a dress for my American Girl doll; it was a white wrap dress with a sticker for a design. I didn’t change her clothes for about a month; I had a new love. My tenacity in art, fashion and beauty complimented me.

            The pride gained from knowing somebody appreciated my work was an innovative feeling for me. This became the fuel to my ambition to become a designer. The ability to change fashion became my new addiction. My production of art had to be precise because it had a meaning behind it which conveyed my message. Most people don’t understand that fashion is more than the clothes you put on in the morning but the reason why you put them on.  I will continue my passion leaving my fire trail through the fashion world.

Art has been there from the beginning and will remain when I have nothing else. It is what got me to my highs and picked me up from my lows. My ecstasy and anguish; art is what sets me apart. Art is my life.

Dec.28 Ladies Day

My mommy, Drea and I all went shopping today, it was okay for the most part its just my mommy likes to act like she know everything. She does not fully understand us so she likes to tell us things we already know which is really annoying sometimes. Honestly I don't even talk to anyone like that because they think they know whats best for me but they don't because we have two completely different journeys. People have to know the person as a whole before they speak to they about things in life......

Dec.27

I spent the day with Drea again. It feels good to have my sister home with me because I don't see her that much. We got everything for my portfolio together to make sure that it was sent off to Paul. I'm just a little timid that the edits will not be completed in time. I finally picked a picture for the year book. I know I'm late but somebody missed place my pictures and blamed it on me. We all went to bible study today. People act like me and Drea are identical twins but it is a clear difference between us. We look alike to the point you know we are sisters though.I got called half done because Drea is darker then me by a smidget.

Dec.26 portfolio

I finally got to see my pictures from the photo shoot. They do look pretty I am really proud of myself. All day Me and Drea just been trying to relax and pick pictures for my portfolio. We have some really good ones. I really thing I can get in with these =)

Dec. 25 Christmas

I went to church today to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to JESUS. Drea and I had a lot of fun but people always have something to say. I took the family out for lunch/ dinner for Christmas because I know my mommy did not want to cook and she only cooks a lot for Thanksgiving any way so it would not have been anything too special. At the end of the day me and Drea just relaxed and talked for the rest of the night.

Dec. 24 Christmas Eve

I fee bad that I couldn't get my mommy's gift out today I will just have to wait till after Christmas to get it. I worked today and actually a lot of people came in today to get their holiday hair but we did not really have any sales so i was a little confused as to why they came here. Most places had really good sale like 50 percent off sales. But Hannah go me and Kirsten gifts for Christmas. We didn't really care for the gift but we pretended we did. I think she is warming up to us some.....

Dec 23 WORK......AGAIN

Working today honestly I just cant wait for this week to be over I need a break and time to finish all of my college stuff. I hope I can have a better weekend since Christmas is Sunday. I t was cold today and that didnt make my day any better either. I hate cold work days......

Dec.21 GRADUATION

My bestfriend graduated today. I am so proud of my baby she going to be in college with out me though but it is just inspiration for me to strive for bigger and better things for myself. I am mad that I could not be there for her so she knows that I love her unconditionally and that I am super proud of my baby girl. I know she is going to do great things in life. CURIOUS AND TAZZ BEST FRIENDS going on SIX YEARS STRONG =)

Dec. 20

I have Bible study to night after church but I do not really want to go. I love the Lord that much to get up and go to church though. I was excited to see my baby Charlie. He was sort of hating on me for the photo shoot. It was like he was cursing me out with his facial expressions when I was talking to him. I just said to myself dont tell him nothing else because he doesn't really care. When I got home I got ready for bed to sum up my day Good Night Blogger.....

Dec.20 The morning after

I never had to rush this much in one morning. I though it was an A day  so I tried to get to school by second period but it turns out it was a B day so I really didn't have to even come. I was mad but I got over it when I saw Kendie and Shareefa. I was still tired but it was okay only had to be there for a few hours then go home because practice was cancelled. I went to sleep when I got home....

Dec.19 SHOOT

I was working till the time I had to get ready for the shoot. I make a dress in about five hours and it actually looked nice on the set. I have to help Drea with her hair and everything. When I got on the set I never been so nervous. To feel my heart race and feel the blood rushing through my veins for a good thing felt unreal. Paul and Drea thought the photos came out good but I was too nervous to look at them. This was an experience I will always remember for the rest of my life. I hope Pratt likes them.......

Dec. 18 Packing

After church I had to rush home and pack so I could leave for the photo shoot tomorrow. I'm going to be honest I'm not 100 percent done but I was told as long as I get my message across then I should be happy and I believe it. All my hard work will pay off in the end. I'm bring my blessings with me because I'm going to need them....

Dec 17 Working

Today was a good day with my work best friend Kirsten she is like me. It is really weird. I though we were not going to get along when she first started but we actually get along too well. I can talk to her and have fun at work she is a blessing to my Saturdays. Well I am resting tonight I been working really hard this month so nigh night blogger....

DEC 16 Long Fridays

Work and school are sometimes the worse part of my day. Work is always long on Fridays and school is just school sometimes. I'm never to excited to do both in the same day but I do it to better myself for the future. I really do feel like I am growing up some. Controlling my path but good nigh I had a long day......

Dec 15 CURIOUS and TAZZ

A few more days so I am going to go through the notions and then just relax for today. I am super tired and I have work tomorrow so I need to get rest for tomorrow. Today was alright but days like these can always be better. I talked to my best friend when I got home so I'm not going to get much work done. I LOVE AND MISS HER......my worse half =)

Dec. 14 CHAKA KHAN

OHHH MY GOSH I LOVE CHAKA KHAN. Listening to I'm Every Women has me on the top of the world. I feel like Wonder Women right now I'm going to go a head and finish these clothes and start planning the way the shoot should look. I'm a visionary you should try being one ;)

Dec 13

Music is all I need today to get what I need done. I don't want any company or anything just working hard for the rest of the week so I can rest on my break. I'm starting to get nervous though because all I can think about is what if they don't like or understand my work???? This is not like trying to be a lawyer or a teacher you get judged for you work. With everything else it is either a right or wrong answer but not with fashion it's either you are in or you are out I want to be IN.

Dec.12

Finishing the shorts till I get to Drea house so she can help me. I honestly don't have much to say today I'm just focused doing a lot of work and thinking. I know no one wants to keep hearing the same thing about my portfolio so I'm going to put you in my mind set and inspiration for today.

Dec.11

Found out that my photo-shoot not this week but next week in the 19th so I have some more time to finish editing my work. When I get done with everything is when I can get ready for Christmas but with this work I'm not even in the season of giving. I have to focus on me and my work for now I hope nobody thinks that I am being selfish but they have to understand this is my future.

Dec 10 Lost

It's my brother's birthday but now a days I never see him or talk to him for me to have the chance to tell him how I feel. It's his 25th birthday but I couldn't tell him how much I love him or anything. I truly feel like I lost him sometimes but we use to be super close. He was like my daddy since my daddy wasn't always there. I love someone that's lost in the world but I know God got my brother. I LOVE HIM but he stupid. I miss us as a whole.

Dec. 9

I'm finishing this for real then I'm resting. I haven't really had any real time to myself to sleep in weeks because of cheering, my portfolio and church/school. My music has been the only thing that keeps me going to strive for greatness. Every song right now is like a different design. I keep thinking that I have to do it for my god-son because he deserves the best. I know he is not mine but I no problem treating him like one of my own. He one of the main reasons I push myself so much. I love my Micah.

DEC.8 DONE

I'M FINALLY DONE THE MAIN ATTRACTION!!!!!!!! I completed the top I hope to GOD this fits Drea because if it doesn't we are going to suck and pull for dear life. Editing is about to be the worse part because I'm a perfectionist with my work but i am not an expert yet so I hope I don't stress it too much. I tend to show Drea all my work but she doesn't completely understand because we have two different views of fashion. I'm the edgy tomboy over exaggerated artist and she is the elegant vintage girl but I can  please all almost everyone.

Dec. 7 WORKING HARD

I know I need to rest but the stress is impacting me and I need to work. This portfolio feels like the best hustle ever. I feel like everything will pay off in blessings. I'm already receiving a blessing with a free photo-shoot so I know GOD is on my side and I'm taking the right path. I need to focus on one thing at a time. I keep jumping from garment to garment I need to stop stressing it all. CALM DOWN AMBER GOSH!!!!!!!!

DEC.6 Getting in the way

Cheer leading is starting to get in the way of what I need to do. I feel like everyone is being selfish when it comes to someone else getting what they need done completed. They are really making me want to quit but I cant help but complete what I started. I really am working hard for this photo shoot I pray to God that all goes well and I get into Pratt. If I don't its going to be like somebody stealing my joy. PRAY FOR ME!!!!!!!!!

Dec.5 ART

STRESSED! I feel like that's all I need to say for this blog because it is so much to do and I need everything to be perfect. I'm good for a beginner  but I want them to see I stand out and my visions can real give people a who new look on fashion. To e fashion isn't what you put on in the morning it's the feeling you darn not to speak. To me that's the greatest for of expression. People do not look at clothing how they look at a photograph, a sculpture or even how they analyze music. To me fashion is the most over looked art for and it's sad because it can change lives just like how music does.

Dec.4 Feeling Good

Wentr to church today and it got to me and it got me way more focused and ready then before. I went to the fabric store with mother after church and we werent completely clicking but thats normal. I ignored her as usual. Still didnt really talk to Charlie at church (shrugs). Went to get my nails done was feeling pretty patriotic today so got the flag on my nails something light. I feel like my environment is what pushes me to do better because I can tell Im not made to be around these people or people not like me so Im pushing to leave. I KNOW GOD PUSHING ME FURTHER THEN WHAT I KNOW.