Sep 29 Nothing to do but study

No time for games today it was dedicated to studying for the SATs and to studying for my biology test tomorrow. I had very little time to my self to relax because I was trying to keep my mind busy. I studied in the blue SAT book for a while rhen in the all night book and finally my biology notes. I alternanted them all day till I decided my brain needed a brake so I cleaned up for a while then got right back too my studies. Around like 4:45 Toni came over after he came from class and I got some down time till a few hours later when he fell asleep and I started studying again. I really hope this pays off on Saturday.

Sep 28 NO PRACTICE

Today is going to be the best rest of my life because we dont have school tomorrow and I dont have practice today which mean Toni can come over and help me with some work I need to do. I went through all my classes today not feeling any type of stress becauase practice makes me feel like I have to rush through everything when I get home but not today I get to do all of my homework. I had a quiz in Biology today didnt do sso well but it really just shows me that I really need to find a way that fits me to study and actually retain the information that I am studying. The rest of my classes felt real simple today that was such a relief. I walked home with Jordan and Brionna and it was fun I never really get any time to be around people except for school because of practice and work. When I got home I started my homework and cleaned up the house till my mother got home then Toni came over and I finally had time to relax. This is what I have been needing.

Sep. 26 Monday Mornings arent that bad

Today should be a pretty good day, I mean it has too since it starts off my week and because BGC come on tonight. Im proud that I remembered this time because any other time I forget and then tomorrow I would be like darn I forgot again. I had to rush this morning to get myself together but it was okay as long as I am niot late and I have everythong for my day today. I went to class got all my work done and too a few notes for most  of my classes. In APES I had a test i feel like I did goood but when I feel like that I usually didnt because I took it off of things that I already thought I knew and that could be incorrect. We did have practice today and I am actually ready to go to practice. We are mostly just wiorking on the stunts for the upcoming competition but we still need a lot of work before we are completely confident in what we are doing. I am sort of proud in our progress but I kow we can do better. Andre came by to visit me today (my brother) and that made me feel good that hemisses me because he is never really emotional like that. We played around for a while, I can tell my mommy missed him because she was yelling at him as usual. I got some chestnut congtacts today Toni loves them and Andre hates them but it doesnt matter because i like looking like a wolf. =)

Sep. 27 2011 Random Tuesdays

Today started off so lethargic like I was tired but I got dressed and everything quickly. My night before had me in a decent mood to get up and start my week. When I got up and got dressed this morning it was not that much of a inviting Tuesday just very bland. I rushed and got dressed really wishing the weekend was longer but life goes on. When I went down stairs to get into the car to leave for school I saw this cat that looks just like how my hair would when it would color unevenly; this was the first time I ever seen a cat just sleeping in my bushes so it sort of brightened up my day. I thought it was cute how when my mother came outside the cat woke up and looked at her like she was crazy then went back to sleep. My day was how it usually is but I was actually happy to be in school because I know that tomorrow I do not have practice. So as my day proceed I went on to practice and everything went well for a change. We worked on some new stunts for competion and Bria got her flip so we where making big moves today. I hope Friday's practice goes the same way. When I got home I did take a nap which made me slightly late for bible study but I just feel like as long as Im there that's all that should matter right?

Sep 30 2011 GIRLS AND GRADES

Today was a good day for me I was a little confused on my bio test because I couldnt remember the material all too much which really sucks but I know what I need to do now. I have to study on a continuious bases to remember the information rather then try to cram. I hope to God I do beyond my exspectations tomorrow because I really need this. I got to staduy in AVID todayfor my SATs so I hope the help Prosper gave me I remember. I really know that I can do beyond fair its just I hate test. I got my interm today and I did okay I need to keep my grades up to raise my GPA and to show schools I can be all that they want and need. I hope the underclassmen focus why more then what I did because we all are going to have to live with our regrets and life so you better hope they dont invovle your education. There was almost a fight in practice which was wild because people not loyal to the team when they are not even suppose to be in practice with us. But this is just a bump ion the road for the time being. Well Im about to finish studying for the SATs so good night.

Sep. 24 2011 Confusion

So why did I get waken up five in the morning to be asked did I want to get some coffee -_-. I was too mad. You cant wake people up like that then dont want to take no for an answer. Around seven I did get up and go get some coffee with that particular person and they really dont like the fact that I have a boyfriend but I think its so cute. We went to the park with our Starbucks and talked till like 8:30 9o'clock. We still love each other its weird but when I get home Toni not keeping his word and giving me my iPod back before church so he making me rethink stuff because he been acting like a stinker all day. I want my iPod ugh he irratating me, my headphones are lonely. Church today was okay I couldnt focus all to much, way too much on my mind with everything on my mind its way too many people in my life and some of them need to remove themselves from my presents. I still dont understand why people like me I know I can be awesome but I just dont like people too much. Why dont people understand that????? I need my music to think about all this.

Sep. 24 2011 I really hate work

So before work Toni came over because I didnt see him yesterdsy night after the game and I didnt talk to him before I went to sleep. I let him hold my iPod till I go off work so I had to listen to the Koreans all day which is the worst thing ever for me -_-. They can barely understand what anybody Is saying but think they know EVERYTHING. From two to eight I was trying to take my mind off the time so it wiould more faster it was helping until three when it felt like five then at five and I wanted it to be six so I could run and get a shape-up  real quick. All day I was getting compliments on my shoes and my hair of course but I was just getting tired of people staring at me for like ten minutes and not speaking after I just said Hello in my nice voice with a fake smile. And some girl was staring at me all day and I didnt just see her once or twice today either. I was regreting giving Toni my iPod because when nobody in in the store and the radio keeps playing the same thing you start to go crazy. Around six nobody is really in the store but once when seven roll around everybody and they mother wantsto come in and but weave and a wig yall had all day for that, this is rediculous. It never felt like it wouldcome but eight came and I went. When I got home I talked to Charlie and he wanted to go to the boweling alley but plans changed ten minutes later as usual so I called Toni to see where he was and he was on his way back out here to see me. We relaxed for the rest of the night because I was a little tired.

Sep 23 Friday should have been yesterday

I woke up thinking about the induction since I know we have to write about it today. All I could think was positive things about it except the fact I really wanted a light skin cupcake and couldn't have one. I was so happy Ms.Brown said we didnt have to take our test today because it would have been a mess. When I got to AVID I didnt have all to much to write about for the induction but Idid tell all my thoughts so thats all that should matter. We had some difficulties when we had to pick a house song because everybody has different prferences so it was just getting annoying. And everybody just felt like this was the time to do everything but what we where suppose to be doing that was getting annoying too. When the bell rung I was to happy because I ws getting annoyed after a while. When I got to health they were getting on my nerves too and Mr. Soler kept trying to pop my balloon which wasnt nice at all. We started a presentation that I have to finish. I had a game in the rain today the football team was going againist Dundalk which was pretty interesting because I didnt want to be there at all and uit was cold and raining. Who ever wanted to cheeer in this is a jerk!!!! When we were chering it was so cute because their cheerleadiders had more people then we did and they werent  that loud and they wanted to booooo us during half time but when we did our stunts they were silent. Before the game it was a rea pretty rainbow and it mak me happy and sad (my emotions were so confused).

Sep. 22 Induction

Tonight is the AVID induction but Im debating whether or not to go to practice but I'm going to bring my practice clothes just in case I go. I went through my day the same as I do any other day but I realized that school days feel redundent. I been doing the same thing since nineth grade for the most part school, practice then I go home soooooo boring. All day I was waiting for practice so because it was one step to me going home. In practice I listened to Wish. I listened to her durning the warm up and through the lap we had to run. We always have to run a lap when I dont really feel all that awesome. I got through most of my stupid lap but I took like three breaks because Im a fat kid and we dont run. When we ran our laps if you talked about anybody outside on the squads you had to run two laps but I ran one and a half because what I said was the truth but it was still not the right thing to do. A lot of people lied because they didnt want to run the extra lap which was a mess. When practice was over we went ovr some stunts to see if they would go up and to help junior varsity. I rushed home when my mommy go there tio get ready for the induction. The truely honestly best part of the induction was when me and Jason go to light the new scholars torches because I did get to meet some the scholars in Atlas. It also made me see why some people got placed in certain houses and who I was sort of happy did get placed in Atlas. When I got home I thought about all the things that I wanted the new people to get out of being in the same house as me. This was the first induction that actually ment something to me.

Sep. 21 Atlas Getting Things Done

On Monday we found out that we could get more time to work on our bored so I have been thinking about things we could add to to our board. In first period most of Atlas are in that class so we filled Jason in on what we where doing in class today. So I went through second period did mjy work and off to AVID I went. As soon as we got in we where ready to do what was needed to really complete this board because before we just did enough to say that we were complete but today we really needed to do some work. I could not let my name be attached to some rushed work with little meaning behind it just to get it done no not happening. So I through out some ideas and it seemed like everybody liked them so thats what we went for. We added more effects so the board wouldn't look so boring and dry. So we really worked together today for us all being leaders we really did work together well to get what we needed done. I think it was because we all had the sme thought and that was to get this done so we don't get a zero. That was the thought the class before that so Im guessing it stayed the same. At the end of it all we were all proud of our work and it felt good to actually have people you can depend on when you work in a group (for the most part everybody). When we finished the board it made the rest of my day so much better because it was onre less burden to have on my mind. We didnt have practice toay so I went home with Kendie and we waited for Bri-Nasty from there but by the time she got there I had to go because I was not walking home. When I go home I did all my homework and Toni came over. I told him how my day went but I don't think he really was all to interested because he really didn't know what I was talking about.

Sep. 20 Same tuesdays

This morning I woke up sort of late but I did get dressed pretty fast. After about 10min of waiting for my mother she gets in the car and says that she has to go get gas. She knows I hate when she tells me at the last minute after she takes forever to come on that she need gas. Does she not know I hate being later over something that could have been avoided. I got to school on time but I did  not really want to do anything in class but I did take my note for biology and tried to make sure all my other work was completed. When I got to Mr.Taylor class I really did not want to be bothered all that much so I didn't pay may people attention. The rest of my day was how it usually is from college algebra to financies. When I got to financies I was actually happy only because I didn't have the same seat any more. I went to practice as I would any other day but I actually did not mind being there today. I just wanted to have a good practice and get something accomplished. In the begining of practice we worked on compition the the last couple of minutes we went over cheers for the volleyball game tomorrow. When practice was actually over I wanted to go home and take a nap before church but those plans never work out when I need them too. By the time I got hadI only had enough time to start my homework and have a thought about eating. Church was kind of pointless but Toni went with me so it was good he kept me from getting bored because I couldn't focus on the topic. I was mad though because I wanted to see Charlie but he wasn't there :(.

Sep. 19 2011 Mondays

Days like this make you happy when your days look dark. I'm not sure why I woke up so happy this morning but it felt so good to just have a good day. It wasn't any different then any other day but it seemed like it. I was really chipper and full of smiles today but at the same time to tired for words. Im going to be honest I took a small nap in all my classes when I was done my work except for AVID. The only part of my day that I felt really good about was when we completed our board in AVID because we didn't have a lot of confusion and confintation like all the other groups to the point we got most of our board completed.  I had a good practice after school today we where able to get a lot done for competition and everything and everybody got along for the most part. Everything really hit me when I got home I was stupid dumb tired to the point I just wanted to pass out and go to bed but I couldn't because I had something like a lot of homework today . Toni did come over to "attept to help" me with my homework a=but its not really helping when all he does is mess with me while I do my homework but him just wanting me to do it makes me feel like I actually picked a good one for a change. I'm going to be honest though I was happy when he left because I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO sleepy. I think taking a shower and getting into my my bed and being able to put my head on my pillows was the best part of my day.

Sep 18 I miss my Pastor

Well my pastor went on vaccation today and left me there with everybody else. She stopped by my job yesterday to tell me bye and it made me feel so special she always knows how to put a smile on my face. Today was boring just relaxing not doing much but be with Toni when I get donr these blogs and thats all. I am going to start looking into the rest of my college stuff today tho just been busy during the week to get any of that stuff done. i been listenuing to Frank Ocean the whole time doing this trying to hurry up but he can wait a little longer for me to  funish up. I talked to my daddy to day and it mad me smile but I still want my pastor. Without her at church everything feels weird im not sure why it does it just does.

Sep.17 Got to get paid

I hate my job I hate the people and the people that come in there they are such a mess some people dont know how to carry themselves and how to respect theirselves its really rediculous. Today people everybody wanted to try on a million and one wigs but didn't want to buy any. I think I have came to the conclusion that if you can't find one wig that look descent on you then you might not be all that attractive. But on another note some young black people need to know what is exceptable in public please do not come into a store cursing at your girlfriend because she has nappy hair and wants you to buy her weave and ladies please do not act like this is okay and laugh when he calls you out of your name because it's not. While I was there I was debating what to wear to Ashy's party which turned out just to be a dress and some heels while everybody else (except Ashy) whore pants ugh. The time we spent together was good smiles. I think this topped off my day.

Sep.16 I cant help then..

Plans for today go as such
1.school get all my work done
2.practice (pray toGod this gos well)
3. help Ashy find something for tomorrow.
I woke up today with my day planned out for the most part. My day yesterday was pretty good. I had a test today in first period I felt good because I recieved a 85% on it so I was off on a good start. As my day proceeded it wasn't peachy or awesome just in the middle. I went on to practice but before i got there the jv coach kind of blew me so it set me off but i got over it and practice went well (thank God). I did get light headed during practice though. When I got home I had some time to myself but Icouldn't sleep. Around 7 I helped Ashy find something for Saturday but it seems everything I picked up she didn't like so I felt like why the f.... am I here for. I just said forget it you don't need my help help yourself. We went to Taco Bell after to eat and I see Chrissy and she wants me to come to her because its her birthday which I honestly did not care about because she ows me money so I blew her off and proceeded on with the rest of my day. Toni came over atalking all reckless upsetting me about his day but I got over it and fed him my Taco Bell because my baby was hungry so I had to make sure he ate. He thinks Im too nice of a girlfriend to him but I thought thats what I was suppose to do. I dont know.......

Sep.15 HORRAY ITS THE 15TH

I been waiting forever to get my nails done and I can finally get them done. Some people dont understand when my nails and hair isnt done then I feel incomplete in a way. So after practice guess where Amber was going yup you know getting her nails done. But thestart of my day was good I startred off with some Wish so I felt good. I was so playful and happy. I completed all my work in all my classes. When I got to AVID we had our first seminar I felt good that I was able to start it off for the class. I started to understand why certain people where in certain houses after the discussions because of how they where in the groups for the seminar. I believe that everybody had their own view points about the book and how we disagreed of agreed withh certain decisions made by certain characters. I felt like I personally wanted to get into certain groups discussions based on their questions and topics constructed from the reading. After that Idid get frustrated when I got my wake up call with my GPA because i thought it was .2 points higher which shows its been time for me to ge it together. I went to practice as usual which went well for the most part. When my mommy picked me up today I got her to give me some money for my nails. Around 6 or so Ashy and I went to get our nails done together for some girl time I guess. My honeypie came up to the nail salon to see me then we went to my house to watch tv and act a fool together; we really act alike its crazy.

Sep. 14

Wendsdays are so random it makes or breaks the reset of your week because its directly in the middle of the week. Since I was feeling better today I had so much built up goofy energy and it showed. I did not mean to be so goofy but when you are tired but in a good mood it has it's ways of showing. I could'nt help it but in math class I was kind of silly but I did learn something and i feel that is all that matters. I kept to myself after I calmed down but i didn't want to go to practice today girls are just too much. Everybody was tired from constintly repeating the same thing to the point that everybody ways so defensive and stressed but we do have to remember compitition is slowly approaching. DEADLINES DEADLINES DEADLINES. Which made me remember I have to do my homework. I did most of my home work tonight talked to my bestest friend in the entire world. I also realized my boyfriend is something like my bestfriend crazy. This was my best wendsday in forever. I LOVE MY BEST FRIEND!!!!!!

Sep. 13 I can't keep forgetting bible study

It's Tuesday which means I have a lot ahead of me today bible study, homework, practice and school doesn't seem like a lot but it is when you are too drained for words. I tried to start my day off with song hype music to try to wake me up but for some reason it did not work at all which slows my day down some. All my classses felt fast but slow at the same time I really think I just was not there all the way but that's just how it is sometimes. I had practice today cheers, stunts and talking too much of some then others. I am always stupid tired after practice I hate it but sacrifises have to be made to be happy. I got home tired and had to remember I HAVE to see the Lord tonight so I just had to pull it together after telling my self I wasn't going to go but everytime I say that the result is always the same i get up and go to church. I had me too much fun in bible study (im not sure if I was suppose to based off the fact we were suppose to be focused.) Being focused tonight was an obsticual because the woman juxtasposed to me had me histarically laughing at the olderman in class. When I got home tonight I was very nonchalant about my boyfriend coming over because he failed to tell me he wasn't coming and my beloved pastor wanted to focus on certain things tonight and I think I did pretty good.Finally get to take a shower then Good Night =)

Sep.12 Really it's Monday again?????-_-

So today was so unintersting nothing but another average Monday. Went to school and my schedual as I normally would. With so much on my mind to the point I was drained completely. It's starting to feel like no matter how much sleep I get it is never enough. I went to practice after school. Practice was practice nothing but girls. I was only waiting to get home to watch Bad Girls Club I was tooooo pumped about it because I missed most of the season so I watched it while I did my homework. My boo came over and helped me a little bit with my homework but he was trying to act upset about watching Bad Girls Club I thought it was cute because he knew he didn't have a choice in what he was watching. I did feel a smidgit bad because I was controlling the television and doing my homework so we flipped back and forth between BGC7 and Family Guy and Futurama. I was toooooooo mad with him because his funky self wanted to go to the store while BGC7 was on so we ran there by the time we go back we missed the fight -_- I was mad. So he went home around 11 or so. I had a good day =)

Sep.11 2011 Evolution

So today I was kind of sad for the most part have no idea why but then I get to church and my church family really made me smile and feel really good about everything. Our assistant pastor is going of to a new church to become pastor I did not cry because I know God has a bigger plan for her life rather to just be an assisatnt pastor in Baltimore. After church I spent some time with my loves Charlie and Quan and they really made me smile, they made me feel  like how a male suppose to make a female feel it was really nice. I wrote my AVID induction bio thing today and when I was looking for a picture to send in I went to my album account on line and I started to look at my changes and developements and I was about to cry and that was only from ninth grade but then I started to look at all my old pictures from middle school and it made me remmber how simple and full of bliss life was. It's like the older we get the more stress we put on ourselves by wanting so much but why cant we all just take time to think about the blessings of today and just wait for tomorrow??? Like we put so much stress on ourselves to the point we start to look old and ugly not saying that aging is unattractive but when your looking like you had a hard life at ten and you never had any type of struggles you have to get it together. I really love my life and how I always expressed myself in any way but never really had a care in the world what people thought and the pictures showed beining yourself makes life  ore enjoyable and it keeps you smiling =). Maintain a smile in every situation and your true beauty will always shine through.

Induction post

Amber Mc Kenzie has been an AVID scholar since grade nine. She did not really know what she was doing in AVID but as time went on she realize it was not an awful thing to be apart of. She came to terms with having to be a scholar so she has been involved in cheerleading in school and church activities after school hours. Amber is aspiring to major in pre-med to become an obstetrician and minor in fashion administration to become a fashion designer. She has always dreamt outside of the box so finding a college that offered both of these studies that was a high-quality selection was extremely difficult but she managed to narrow down her choice. Her top five picks thus far are NYU, Duke, Emory, UCLA and Howard all of the listed schools offer pre-med but not all offer fashion. She has been co-captain of varsity and junior varsity cheerleading squad. Amber has also helped put together giving back to less fortunate families during the holidays with her church.  During her junior and senior year she has been juggling cheerleading, working at a hair store, church activities and school. Amber is working on boosting her SAT scores and filling out applications for college. Right know she is focused on school to balance her busy schedual.

Sep.10 The Thigs I see at Work

So today it was slightly more busy then usual and I know that I shouldn't judge people at first glance but people need to know how to come out the house. I also know that I work in a hair store and peple come in to get the proper utilities to better themselves later on but that does not mean you can come out the house with your hair all over the place. I was taught that a women's hair is her glory and every  male that I associate myself with says the same thing you canwhat kind of person some one is by their HAIR, nails and feet. So why do i see some of the most horrid things walk into my job it makes me think black people hate theirselves; I know this sounds racist but dang if you can't carry your appearence right then I know your hygeine is poor so you must hate yourself. (Reminder cleanliness is next to godliness.) Well mostly people in Baltimore because when I go out the state they appear to be clean (for the most part) but it might just be Saturdays who knows. And today some random light skinned girl showed me her stomach mind you it was the flabby kind because she had kids but she was trying to get me to het her stuff for free like everybody else tries to do but I need my job so that was a no. I did read some of my book today horray for me in between assisting people but I wanted to go home so bad the sky was just as confused as I was today so it made me a little uneased.

Sep.7 2011 It's always something

Today was so hectict for me. School time was usual nothing fantastic or spectacular just work, descussion and more work. It was not until the middle of fourth period that I found out that we needed to have a meeting in cheerleading. I was waaaaaaaaaay to confused to think what it could be I mean we didnt have any problems that week but since no one was aware of what was going on I guessed it was nothing to worry about. When we finally get to practice Coach Meghan was looking a little melancholy but I just figured it was because it was gloomy outside then I saw cheerleaders looking the same way. When we all get together we find out there may not be a junior varsity squad this season any more and the people called on the announcements may be getting bumped up to varsity. This made too much controversy amoungst everyone people cried, call their parents ect.  (too many girls means tooo many emotions ugh). I cant say I didn't care because I love my jv sisters but they were crying like somebody killed their cat or something it wasnt the end of their world or anything just a short momentary break from cheering gosh. I couldn't say all this to my little sister on jv because she was already crying way too much for what Im use to but I comforted her as much as I could. Im really no good with people that I just met and their emothions and I usually dont get tears we just try to stay strong but I think i help because I got her to smile and stopped crying for a while. I felt confused and accomplished that I could hhelp today!!!! =)

Sep.7 More Rainy days

Rain kills me when we have school. Im tired, cant focus and I always feel sick when im not it's annoying after a while. Days like this is when they need to have the heat on in school or something because this is just awfull. Its not like I want to complain but gosh we need a slight delay or something. I was so relieved i did not have to go to practice today I was not in the mood to be around so many emotions today . I did get alot of work done today school wise so I am proud nof my self for not just going to sleep because of the rain.

Sep. 6 2011 Cotton Candy Bubble Gum swirl

Everything just felt so rushed. I was thinking way too much about things that really arent that important to the rest of my life. I still am a little upset that my hair is pink i feel like bubble gum -_- ugh (I hate pink), up well Ill get over it this stuff happens all the time with my hair.I was supper tired today im starting to think work, cheerleading and school is not something I need to do right now but it is still the second week of school so I think my body has to get use to this new sleep schedual, it is super hard because Im always so tired after practice but never want togo too sleep so I can focus on my homework. I NEED TO GET IT TOGETHER AND FAST!!!!!!!!